JY's Top 10 Commandments of da Mixed Plate
Courtesy of one of the lunch blog’s avid readers, founder of the legendary mixed plate, and also today’s guest lunchblogger: JY …
10. If you can see, think, and/or move properly immediately following consumption of a mixed plate, you are either: a. a liar; b. a fraud; c. a cyborg
9. If you eat a mixed plate for 5 consecutive days, those familiar with your accomplishment must throw you a parade and celebrate your achievements in a manner befitting a King
8. If you are in line for a mixed plate, and someone – or something – grabs your ass, there is nothing that you can do about it. Sorry.
7. If you look Asian (like I do), they give you 10% off if you flash them. Flash what you ask? That’s up to you to determine, fair reader
6. Scooby Doo once had a mixed plate, but then he died. Take from that what you will
5. If you see someone order something other than a mixed plate from Anoush, you are required by God to remove the item(s) from their hands at any and all costs and throw it in their face, reducing them to tears and humiliation
4. You are permitted to throw a soggy mixed plate potato at JW whenever she isn’t looking. Bonus points if it gets lodged and lost in her hair
3. JW and JK ARE NOT cool
2. Do not eat a mixed plate if you have an important meeting or function immediately following lunch. I cannot stress this enough people
1. If it looks like a mixed plate and smells like a mixed plate, it still might not be a mixed plate. It may be one of JK’s filthy Soy experiments. Exercise caution when embarking on a fresh mixed plate
